Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Today is about the same as last week.  The change that started this week was that I'm keeping my food journal again and I usually do pretty well when I do that.  I'm going for 1400 calories/day.  That's my update for this bring on the weight loss for next week's weigh-in!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

How do I put this delicately?

I've done some soul searching about my weight. I had my nutritionist ask me over and over "why do you do this to yourself?" I thought about it A LOT. There was no unhappy childhood, no traumatic event that had caused this. I know that I lack self control, but that I'm not incapable of it where is the balance?

I finally think I uncovered the root to my being overweight. It goes back to high school and dating. No, I'm not still hung up on any of the guys I was dating. I just didn't date healthy. I had a boyfriend at the age of 14. No, we didn't "go anywhere"...we were just going together. It was not a good thing. He was very critical of the way I looked, how much I ate, if my nails and lipstick matched or not, etc. I'd like to think I was "above" this kind of thing. I was young, naive and thought that I was in love with him.

This started my spiral of self-destruction. When things didn't work out between myself and other guys I dated after that, I took it really hard. Food was a great comfort. It didn't tell me how inadequate I was. It just accepted me. Sounds pathetic, but I know that honesty is the only way I'm going to work through this. I had always over-analyzed about myself being the problem at the end of each relationship. The root of it was always my physical failures-i.e., wasn't pretty enough, was too overweight, too much acne, not a good enough complexion, etc.

This one relationship I had really started it for me. I was for the most part, attracted to guys that were really into looks. I have since (many heartbreaks between) come to see that kind of personality from a mile away and avoid it at all costs (still to this day). I know that I should not place all of my value on the physical NOW...but I really did want the attention and admiration of others and I got that attention in all of the wrong ways.

Don't get me wrong, I was no town floozy, I just struggled to find my place (like all teens do) and wound up getting a little bruised and beaten mentally. Hard to believe it's still a struggle for me today. It is. My husband is the best support system ever. One of the things I knew about him that made me fall in love with him and say "This is the one", was that I knew he loved and accepted me unconditionally. Now, that's not to say he doesn't enjoy my being physically fit. He wants me to be happy and healthy. It's now up to me to find that balance. This is really hard, but now that I think I have found my hang up, the healing can begin and I can really start to value who I am and not what I am or am not.

I need to LOVE my's the only one I've got. I'm so grateful for the health I've had. I don't want my heart, kidneys, liver, etc working more than they have to. Here's to getting back on board....

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


It's that time again! Ugh. Ok, the first step is always the hardest. I weighed myself on Monday. I was at: 225.8 (Yuck). My new schedule is going to be running MWF, Weight Train TTSat.

I'm super disappointed at the weight gain of 10 pounds. I know that it happens when I eat whatever I want. I got off track this summer and am ready to get back into a rhythm. Thanks for the support.

Here's to a good week, right? Now, time to get the kiddos off to school.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

I haven't given up...sorry if you have.

I have had a busy summer. I had to let a few things go...the biggest one being my schedule. I will start my running/weight-training routine up again when the kids start school (in 2 weeks). I will also be setting a new goal along with that. Not sure what that will be yet. I also decided to pull the scale back out. I'm not doing myself any favors by not weighing in....let's be honest. I'll report in probably 3 weeks.

PS-I'm not good at this OBVIOUSLY. I don't need that thrown in my face. If you read this, please feel free to leave encouraging comments. Otherwise, pass it over. Thank you to those who always support me. -Sorry for the mini-tangent...I just felt a few people needed to know how I felt that read this. Thanks.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

My first 5k

All red faced and sweaty. I'm no graceful runner!

Part of the Murray City 5k crowd running down State Street. Not sure how many were in the race, but it was a good one!

Goal achieved. I'm sorry for my lack of posts lately. It's been crazy and honestly, this just hasn't been a priority. I failed to run most of the month of June, which resulted in a LOT of huffing & puffing to be in this race. However, I didn't want to DIE afterward, which tells me that the training I did do, certainly paid off.

My biggest fears (of being the last runner or quitting) didn't happen...THANKFULLY! So what if the Wasatch Walking club and an elderly couple beat me? I finished. I finished in under 45 minutes, which is what I thought I could at best hit after my failed training last month. My time was 43. I walked in the middle, which was disappointing, but I think I just started off harder than normal. It's really hard to not get too into it, when everyone else is!

My sweet sis in law, Monica ran with me. I made sure to tell her that she only needed to start out with me. She did awesome (coming in at around 30 min) and was there to encourage me across the finish line. I did run at least the last 1/2 mile to mile, which is the only way to go, in my opinion.

It's amazing the mind games you play. I saw the finish line and SO just wanted to walk. How silly is that? I pushed myself and am ready to set a new goal to train for. (another 5k) Until I can do it at a great time and w/o walking...there is no need to push for a longer goal yet! Thanks for reading and encouraging me everyone! I did it!

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Friday, May 20, 2011


Sorry I'm late. Went to the nutritionist on Tuesday. Still maintained at 215. My measurement in my waist, however is down 1 1/2 inches. I'm pleased with that. I have been put on "blind weigh-ins" from now on. I was told to have Nathan hide the scale and when I do my weigh-ins from now on, I won't know what the scale says. Erica (the nutritionist) says this will help me stay positive and feel my successes.

I really need to embrace the positive in this. It IS a little over an inch off my waist (which I DO desperately need), but I would have loved to see the numbers go down. I'm also adjusting my diet to calorie counting. I asked her which she thought was more successful, carbs or calories. So counting I am.

Hoping in the next month to see (or feel, rather) some change. On a positive note...I ran my first fit fun run w/ Raven this morning. Her school does this once a year. Nathan ran the 1 mile w/ Tessa (they were the very first ones across the finish line, btw) and I ran the 2 mile w/ Raven. It was a blast. I must have a death wish or something, I'm also running a 5K tomorrow morning! EEK! ;)

Wednesday, May 11, 2011


Hi. I'm so boring & frustrated. I'm up to 216.6. Which, I'm not sure if that's better or worse than I have been doing. This week I've been all over the place. Maybe it's my scale? I've been up to 220 (which I haven't seen in a long time) and hovering between 217-218 all week. I'm baffled. I've been watching what I eat (lots of fish, chicken, veggies, fruit) hardly any breads.

I'm on week 6 of Couch to 5K. I've been running 3 miles at least 3 days a week. I'm hoping my inches are down. That's all I can hope for. I'm going in for my last appointment next Tuesday. Hoping there've been some big changes since January. That's all folks.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011


Hey all. Things are going good. I've gotta accept that they aren't going to go the way I always want them to go. I've been working out for 5 weeks solid (a minimum of 3 days a week) and am up to 216. Ugh. Hoping that my measurements are down. Will know this month. The nutritionist took them in Jan. Will be interesting to see what happens. Or maybe, depressing! haha

We were in St. George last week and I really haven't been on the computer a whole lot the last month. Sorry for my absence! Thanks for your support! BTW, I'm SO SLOW on the treadmill. I kind of feel ridiculous. It shouldn't take me 45 min to do a 5k, but does. That's hard to admit. I'm really outta shape. This is probably the hardest thing I've done in a long time. I'm hoping I can REALLY do it.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


Ugh. I haven't really touched my computer in a week. Sorry. Well, this week I'm a bit baffled. I haven't changed my weight at all and I've been eating right and working out 5 times a week. I'm hoping that it will pay off by the next weigh in.

I'm training for the local 5K as I mentioned last time and I'm LOVING it. I LOVE the way I'm feeling. I actually WANT to go to the gym. Now, that's just crazy talk, right there. Anyhow, I'm doing The Couch to 5K program where you are gradually worked up to running it. Due to the fact that I'm a bit more than your average couch potato, I'm doing it 5 days a week instead of the 3 day a week schedule. Not overdoing it at all, my body is responding really well.

Here's hoping that next week is better. Thanks all.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


Not good, and good at the same time! I gained 1 pound (215 total right now). I pigged out during March. We had family here, mine & Nathan's b-day, Spring break, etc. It was hard to control myself.

Well, I'm back in the saddle again. I have a goal in mind and I am excited. I'm planning to run the local Murray City 5K on the 4th of July. This has been great for me. I've been running almost 2 weeks now and LOVE it. I never thought I'd like it. Let me re-phrase that...running is kind of ick really for me, but I LOVE the way I feel after. I don't get a good burn like that doing anything running it is. I'm going to make it a goal to lose 5 pounds this month. I will also be re-registering for my nutritional program at the hospital. You can take it as many times as you want & it's cheaper than joining weight watchers for me.

I really like having that accountability and "food therapy" if you will with her. For anyone wanting good information about diet and food habits, she highly recommends the book "Intuitive Eating"

I feel bad dragging y'all along on here b/c I've not done very good, but please hang on...I'm going to need it! Thanks! Now, off to get running!

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Spring Break Hiatus

Will be back in a couple of weeks. One for Spring break, one for recovery! ;)

Wednesday, March 23, 2011


So, I've been bad about my check-ins it appears. I met w/ my nutritionist last week. She is seriously my therapist lately. Same weight...214. I'm happy considering I've had family in town and have been PIGGIN' out. I need to learn to control myself, seriously! My weight is the same for this week as well. I've got some things I'm working on. I AM going to the gym M-Sat (sucks, but necessary). I HAVE to track my food intake. I've been bad about this one b/c I thought I "had this"...sometimes it feels like I will be tracking EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth FOREVER. I've got to quit being so dramatic and just do it.

The realities of how hard this is for me have set in. I know my weight isn't changing a lot, but my head is. That is more important almost than anything. I mean don't get me wrong, the weight loss is the goal, but my head games are all part of the process. Boy do I have a lot of them, too. I'm happy that I haven't gained my 6 pounds back and then some! I'm hoping once I get over this hump that I will be able to see the pounds come off more. At this rate I'll lose all the weight I need the time I'm 90! Ugh. Down day, but we all have to have them sometime. Thanks for reading my rant.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


Well, I haven't gained OR lost. boo. 214 it is. I guess I should be happy to weigh what I did last week. Bummer of it is, I really wanted the loss. I haven't been as good as I should, but I haven't done all that bad either. I guess I now know what I can truly allow to be in my daily diet and what I cannot. It's just frustrating sometimes, but I guess if it weren''d be easy, right? ;)

I'm hoping with more sleep...I've heard that affects your weight... I'll do a bit better. Here's hoping next week is better. I meet w/ my nutritionist again on Tuesday.

Thursday, March 3, 2011


I suck. Sorry I didn't update yesterday. I'm still on it, though! Down to 214. My camera is dead...hopefully I'll start posting pics again soon! I know y'all aren't calling me a liar by not posting pics...I feel compelled to for some reason! I think I'll post pics of myself every 3 months. I was going to do monthly, but I'm not losing rapid enough I feel to merit them every month. Thanks for checking in on me!

I'm exactly 10 pounds down from Jan 6th. I'm liking that. I'm officially 30 pounds down from when I got pregnant. Yay! Little successes my friend!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Another one bites the dust! Down another pound, officially 216. I'm SO pleased w/ that this week especially b/c I totally pigged out on cheese enchiladas, these and these too. It was a great weekend, I just need to learn to "embrace that healthy lifestyle". So NOT doing that yet. Why does this have to be so hard sometimes?

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


I've been bad about getting to this today! I even took a pic (I'll load it later) of the scale. Down to 217.2 Glad to see it...wanna keep going. I realized that I'm a little more "slow & steady" than I want. At this rate it'll take a couple of years! Hoping I can start to get some bigger numbers. Although, I must say watching The Biggest Loser last night isn't helping my want of those large numbers! Oh well...I'm going for realistic!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Here's the article I mentioned in my last post.

It's called:

Parents focus on kid's diet but neglect their own
By Mary Brophy Marcus, USA TODAY
Feb 01, 2011

Find it Here

Even if you don't have kids, there are some good ideas in here that could be implemented to ensure you are eating healthy and not grazing on junk b/c it's convenient.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011


So I'm a little confused. I'm pretty sure I've stayed constant this week. (No weight loss) My scale and the scale at the nutritionist's office are significantly out of sync. I think by like 3 or 4 pounds. So, I'm not really sure what my weight is and have not been home until now (4:30 in the afternoon)...too late to weigh myself. So w/o giving more excuses, I'm's that?

My goals for this month: (three of them set by my Nutritionist & I):

-No more evening snacking. (i.e. after dinner) This one is KILLING me. It was a goal of mine last month that I was not successful at. Lots of sabotage going on there. Do you self-sabotage in any way?

-Embrace a healthy lifestyle. I have a love/hate relationship with this one. When I'm doing great, working out, etc. it's easy to come up with reasons to be happy with these changes. Not so much when I'm stressed. These last 2 weeks have been a doozey for me, too.

-Work out at least 3 days a week. I'm doing pretty good at this (excluding this last week and a half of course) Back on the wagon for me!

I have an article she gave me on parents who encourage their kids to eat well, but in turn don't do it for themselves. It was very good. I'll have to share it on here soon. Hope y'all are doing good. Thanks for stopping by!

Wednesday, February 2, 2011


Well, it's been a SUPER-sucky week, but I'll take the pound! Down one more and SEVERAL more to go! Thanks for checking in on me...I've felt the accountability for sure! ;)

Monday, January 31, 2011

I'm better now

I was feeling a little discouraged this week! I had a "bad day" and have been trying to make up for it the last few. Too much stress and feeling a bit overwhelmed in the process. Looking like we are all going to be facing a nasty bout with a stomach virus not to mention the dreaded cold we've been fighting back and forth for the last three weeks! I read your comments and was so uplifted. Thank you so much. Made my day.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011


So, here goes. I can't believe I'm doing this. Aside from a bikini, this is basically one of my most un-flattering outfits. But, hey, that's the point, right? Don't be too can look like me if you eat whatever you want whenever you want! ;)

Well, it's discouraging to look at, but here is the dreaded number. I've decided it's just that, a number. It's no longer (in my self reflection) going to define who I am. So, I'm letting it all go today.

Starting Weight: 224
Current Weight: 219
Goal Weight: 150
Started counting carbs-not Atkins (watching salt, sugar & fat): January 6th

I'd be happy to post what I'm doing (diet-wise) for any that are interested. I'm basically just doing a diabetic diet b/c that is something that I am so fearful of. We have such a family history of it and with being "borderline" diabetic during pregnancy, I'm pretty much going to get's just a matter of when. With good diet and exercise I can stave it off for another 14 + years.

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I'm so excited to get going. I meet with my nutritionist on February's hoping she will be happy to see a "little less" of me!

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Getting Ready for Weigh-In Wednesday

Well, I know it's kind of dead on here right now, but I'm getting ready to "amp" it up. I'm going to commit to posting my weight and pictures (not bikini, haha) weekly in an on-going series I'll call Weigh-In Wednesdays. I was inspired by the weight loss of a woman (Jen) featured on Rachael Ray. Did you see it?

I'm thinking this will for sure be a process for the next year. (at least) I'm hoping I can lose the weight in that time. Thanks for your support.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

2011 Good things are going to happen!

I think that's going to be my motto for 2011. I AM going to be healthier this year. I'm thinking I'm going to start by being brave and posting weight and pictures. Ikes! Well, needs to be done and I'm thinking I can do it. Time to dump the rump fo' sho'. I'll post soon. Thanks for reading!